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Currently, I'm feeling Forlorn

Saturday, September 04, 2010

I got a phone call today! I was so surprised I peed. The woman on the other end was definitely flirting with me - and I peed again. She was hanging on my every word. I don't have to tell you how much men, with our fragile egos, just love attention. Anyways, we ended up talking for about ten minutes or so. Her comments and questions were straight-forward and to the point (I like that), yet she was playing coy about personal matters. What a sly little fox! She seems to have a fetish for aluminum siding, all ten of her questions were about siding. I've never heard of such a thing. I'm always up for a 'new experience' though, and she was kind enough to sell me what I'm guessing is a 'starter' kit. I can't wait. I sense true love is just around the corner.

Friday, September 03, 2010

I bought some marijuana from a high-school kid today. I knew it was really parsley and that the kid thought he was pulling a 'fast one' on an old-timer, but what the heck? I feel its a social responsibility to encourage our enterprising youths to be entrepreneurial through positive reinforcement. To be able to stand on one's own two feet is a good lesson to learn when you're young. I find not enough kids have the gumption to get out there and learn life's lessons and those that do should be rewarded. So, I sprayed about a can and a half of Raid on the parsley, smoked it, and caught a buzz. I'm going to lie down now, I have a headache.

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Kind of depressed today. When did the world become such a mess? Why is it a constant struggle for the little guy against oppressive powers who play us like pawns for nothing more than their simple amusement? It seems that my local network has stopped showing reruns of Hart to Hart. I spent most of my day sobbing uncontrollably.

Archives

March 10th, 1969

I can't wait to move. Its cramped in here. The walls are soft, the floors need cleaning, it stinks, its far too hot and there's a definite moisture problem in here. I'm now what's termed as "in the 2nd trimester" so that means there's at least one trimester to go. I'm assuming the "tri" in "trimester" means 3, so that's at least 3 somethings. There's no calendar or clocks in here either. I can't wait to move.

July 17th, 1969

Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been sleeping a lot. I'm still really tired from the move. I wasn't prepared for the emotional aspect of it all. It was sad moving out on my own, leaving the only home I've known. Dad looked proud but mom sure cried a lot. I'm now stuck in what I can only guess to be a homeless ward. There's a bunch of us here. Many of us cry constantly - once again, I'm guessing - because we're homesick. I'm finding that eating with my mouth is a lot trickier than eating with the tube that protruded from my gut. I tend to make quite the mess! Still, I can't complain: there's food, shelter and the warmth of shitty, pissy diapers. What more could a guy ask for? I just wish I could open my eyes.

July 16th, 1971

Whoopee! My 2nd birthday is today! I must admit, I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. I've been thinking about this and my age has doubled in one year. That really sucks! At this rate, I will be 65 years old by the time I hit the 4th grade. Life sure is short when you stop to think about it.

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