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Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Today I wrote this blog. It wasn't an easy chore since the only thing I've done today is write this blog. I mean, I just wasted an entire day! I haven't felt this way since watching the Titanic. My life is a joke anyways; who am I kidding? I waste day after day, never thinking about tomorrow and avoiding the reality that it's coming anyways. I've never accomplished anything monumental and never will. I'm nothing but a hollow husk of a man.
Great, now I'm depressed and feeling like crap. There's no meaning to life, there's no hope for the future, there's no point to the past. Its just all one big lob of shi--oh, gotta go! Three's Company rerun is on! :)

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Monday, March 08, 2010

I've often heard that if 1,000 monkeys were to type for 1,000 years that eventually one would accidentally rewrite the Bible. That's a pretty tall statement so I thought it'd be neat to put that to the test. Now, I'm not going to live for 1,000 years so I had to adjust some numbers. Figuring I'm really only going to be around, able-bodied, for another 35-45 years, I'd need 32,000-40,000 monkeys and typewriters. I think. I lost interest in the whole project mid-way during figuring this out. I hate math. Why isn't life centred around cartoons instead? Maybe I could have 40,000 cartoon monkeys typing on 40,000 cartoon typewriters. It sure would be safer. I think it's possible that 40,000 monkeys, all in a group, could form some sort of intelligence and bang out a manifesto instead. Man-kind would certainly be in trouble then! I've seen The Planet of the Apes, and take it from me, that's not a pretty picture of the future.

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March 10th, 1969

I can't wait to move. Its cramped in here. The walls are soft, the floors need cleaning, it stinks, its far too hot and there's a definite moisture problem in here. I'm now what's termed as "in the 2nd trimester" so that means there's at least one trimester to go. I'm assuming the "tri" in "trimester" means 3, so that's at least 3 somethings. There's no calendar or clocks in here either. I can't wait to move.

July 17th, 1969

Sorry for the lack of updates, I've been sleeping a lot. I'm still really tired from the move. I wasn't prepared for the emotional aspect of it all. It was sad moving out on my own, leaving the only home I've known. Dad looked proud but mom sure cried a lot. I'm now stuck in what I can only guess to be a homeless ward. There's a bunch of us here. Many of us cry constantly - once again, I'm guessing - because we're homesick. I'm finding that eating with my mouth is a lot trickier than eating with the tube that protruded from my gut. I tend to make quite the mess! Still, I can't complain: there's food, shelter and the warmth of shitty, pissy diapers. What more could a guy ask for? I just wish I could open my eyes.

July 16th, 1971

Whoopee! My 2nd birthday is today! I must admit, I have mixed emotions about the whole thing. I've been thinking about this and my age has doubled in one year. That really sucks! At this rate, I will be 65 years old by the time I hit the 4th grade. Life sure is short when you stop to think about it.

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